The start of the 2015 tournament season wasn't an ideal one, but one that was essential for me in this journey. I conquered my fear, didn't let my insecurities get in the way--I won, just by showing up. Now, you may be thinking, "that's not the mentality of an athlete or a champion". But, let me explain:
On Wednesday, January 14th I headed off to Tunis, Tunisia for the 2015 African Open. Going on this trip was a last minute decision, mainly because of unseen circumstances that presented itself. If you've read my previous posts, you'll know that during Christmas I came down with a really bad flu bug. It ended up being an upper respiratory infection, along with bronchitis. After about a week and a half bout with that, I was essentially, a useless judoka. I indulged (gained weight) during Christmas, wasn't able to workout, and was bedridden for a week straight. I didn't get my first workout in until January 3rd, which was a test run at the gym to see if my lungs would hold up. If I were to go to this tournament, I would have 11 days to prepare myself as best as I could. It would be a long shot, a rough weight cut, and I wouldn't be 100% up to par on my judo abilities (after not having practiced in two weeks).
Knowing all of this, and after a 45 minute talk with my coach, I decided that the regret I'd feel (if I chose not to go) would be more of a burden than if I went to the competition and lost. Here's my thought process: I'd rather take the risk, show up and give it my all, than slink away into my comfort zone and come up with excuses as to why I didn't compete. Quite often I have a barrier which holds me back...myself. Insecurities; fear; failure; doubt--they plague me; they plague us all. But, showing up is half the battle; pushing through when your mind is against you is the other half. Just by putting in the effort to get in the best shape possible, making weight (even when I thought it would be impossible), and stepping on that mat in Tunisia; I succeeded. So, hopefully my phrase above, "I won just by showing up" makes a bit more sense now. :)
Anywhoo--about the tournament & Tunisia...
Short story: Lots of time in planes. Crappy food. Decedent and delicious desserts. Very tough weight cut. Worst draw possible. Sub-par performance.
Long story:
The travel time totaled 46 hours. The actual time I had in Tunisia was 60 hours. I arrived at our hotel, The Carthage Thalosso Resort & Spa on Thursday afternoon, extremely jet-lagged. I got a quick 45 minuteworkout in then went to the spa for a quick relaxation session. (This normally doesn't happen, but we were at a resort a spa! Plus it was cheap.) Most of Friday afternoon was spent trying to cut weight. Running in plastics, biking, walking, and two sessions in the steam room with Hannah Martin. The last steam session we both had .01kg left to get off...enter: running laps, naked in the steam room. Yup, it happened. #Judo #DontCare #GottaMakeWeight The session was quick and we both easily lost the .01kg we had to get off. (Making memories with teammates at its finest...) We weighed in Friday night and drank and ate as much as possible...typical. Late Friday night, the draws for the competition came out. I needed two things to happen in order for the best shot at winning a medal:
To my UNPLEASANT surprise, both of those scenarios happened. I was seeded #7, which meant I was in the same pool as #2 (the French girl). If I won my first match, I'd have to face her to move onto the semifinals. And, lucky me...my first round was against a World Ranked Hungarian player who is very experienced and accomplished in both the 44kg and 48kg categories. She is a top 7 placing judoka at the 2014 Junior Worlds and a 2-time World Team member for seniors (2011 & 2013). WORST. DRAW. EVER.
I ended the tournament going 0-1, losing my first round to the Hungarian. The match went the full 4 minutes and I had plenty of opportunities to capitalize on, but was unable to do so. When watching the video of my fight, I was able to see 2 huge errors which, most likely, cost me the match.
She had a nice attack early in the match (at 52 seconds). This move is called Kouchigari. She was able to score a 1/4 point with this throw. You'll see at 2:10, me gracefully throw myself. I impress myself sometimes... (sarcasm). She was able to get a 1/2 point, from my lack of grace and complete bonehead move.
Overall, I'd have to say it was an "ok" experience. I'm mad at myself; the stupid mistakes I made and the opportunities that I didn't capitalize on, but I learned a lot and fought her hard. She ended up losing in the next round, to the French girl, in the last 30 seconds of the of the match. It was a good fight; both quality players. Had the Hungarian been on the other side of the bracket, I'm pretty sure she would have been in the finals. Instead, she fought up the losers bracket and took Bronze. The French player (as I expected) ended up killing everyone for Gold. So, like I said...tough draw for me.
So, a few takeaways from the tournament:
On Wednesday, January 14th I headed off to Tunis, Tunisia for the 2015 African Open. Going on this trip was a last minute decision, mainly because of unseen circumstances that presented itself. If you've read my previous posts, you'll know that during Christmas I came down with a really bad flu bug. It ended up being an upper respiratory infection, along with bronchitis. After about a week and a half bout with that, I was essentially, a useless judoka. I indulged (gained weight) during Christmas, wasn't able to workout, and was bedridden for a week straight. I didn't get my first workout in until January 3rd, which was a test run at the gym to see if my lungs would hold up. If I were to go to this tournament, I would have 11 days to prepare myself as best as I could. It would be a long shot, a rough weight cut, and I wouldn't be 100% up to par on my judo abilities (after not having practiced in two weeks).
Knowing all of this, and after a 45 minute talk with my coach, I decided that the regret I'd feel (if I chose not to go) would be more of a burden than if I went to the competition and lost. Here's my thought process: I'd rather take the risk, show up and give it my all, than slink away into my comfort zone and come up with excuses as to why I didn't compete. Quite often I have a barrier which holds me back...myself. Insecurities; fear; failure; doubt--they plague me; they plague us all. But, showing up is half the battle; pushing through when your mind is against you is the other half. Just by putting in the effort to get in the best shape possible, making weight (even when I thought it would be impossible), and stepping on that mat in Tunisia; I succeeded. So, hopefully my phrase above, "I won just by showing up" makes a bit more sense now. :)
Anywhoo--about the tournament & Tunisia...
Short story: Lots of time in planes. Crappy food. Decedent and delicious desserts. Very tough weight cut. Worst draw possible. Sub-par performance.
Long story:
The travel time totaled 46 hours. The actual time I had in Tunisia was 60 hours. I arrived at our hotel, The Carthage Thalosso Resort & Spa on Thursday afternoon, extremely jet-lagged. I got a quick 45 minuteworkout in then went to the spa for a quick relaxation session. (This normally doesn't happen, but we were at a resort a spa! Plus it was cheap.) Most of Friday afternoon was spent trying to cut weight. Running in plastics, biking, walking, and two sessions in the steam room with Hannah Martin. The last steam session we both had .01kg left to get off...enter: running laps, naked in the steam room. Yup, it happened. #Judo #DontCare #GottaMakeWeight The session was quick and we both easily lost the .01kg we had to get off. (Making memories with teammates at its finest...) We weighed in Friday night and drank and ate as much as possible...typical. Late Friday night, the draws for the competition came out. I needed two things to happen in order for the best shot at winning a medal:
- do not get placed in the same pool as the French girl (2012 Olympian) and
- try not to get a European first round (there were 2...of 13).
To my UNPLEASANT surprise, both of those scenarios happened. I was seeded #7, which meant I was in the same pool as #2 (the French girl). If I won my first match, I'd have to face her to move onto the semifinals. And, lucky me...my first round was against a World Ranked Hungarian player who is very experienced and accomplished in both the 44kg and 48kg categories. She is a top 7 placing judoka at the 2014 Junior Worlds and a 2-time World Team member for seniors (2011 & 2013). WORST. DRAW. EVER.
I ended the tournament going 0-1, losing my first round to the Hungarian. The match went the full 4 minutes and I had plenty of opportunities to capitalize on, but was unable to do so. When watching the video of my fight, I was able to see 2 huge errors which, most likely, cost me the match.
- I would not, could not move. I was like the tin-man that needed oiling. I don't know if it was nerves or what...but I was NOT my typical speedy, aggressive self.
- I made a huge mistake in one of my newaza (ground work) techniques, which essentially made it look as if I was done with the move and giving up...thus, the referee called "matte" (stop) when I was just about to pin her. To see what I mean, stop the video at 3:55. You will see that she has one of my legs; all I have to do to pin her (essentially), is to get that leg out and control her body. Here's where the mistake occurred: Before I could even attempt to clear the leg, I start to posture (or sit) up, instead of keeping my chest close to hers, controlling her arms, head, and upper body. This (I guess...didn't know at the time) is a signal to the referee that I gave up on the move and do not wish to attempt the pin any longer. BIG. HUGE. ENORMOUS. MISTAKE. (I'm normally really good at that move!) That was my biggest opportunity to win the match, but my inexperience and lack of awareness got the best of me. (If you look closely, you'll even see me say, "NOOOOOO" to the referee). :)
She had a nice attack early in the match (at 52 seconds). This move is called Kouchigari. She was able to score a 1/4 point with this throw. You'll see at 2:10, me gracefully throw myself. I impress myself sometimes... (sarcasm). She was able to get a 1/2 point, from my lack of grace and complete bonehead move.
Overall, I'd have to say it was an "ok" experience. I'm mad at myself; the stupid mistakes I made and the opportunities that I didn't capitalize on, but I learned a lot and fought her hard. She ended up losing in the next round, to the French girl, in the last 30 seconds of the of the match. It was a good fight; both quality players. Had the Hungarian been on the other side of the bracket, I'm pretty sure she would have been in the finals. Instead, she fought up the losers bracket and took Bronze. The French player (as I expected) ended up killing everyone for Gold. So, like I said...tough draw for me.
So, a few takeaways from the tournament:
- I know, no matter how bad the weight cut is, I can get it done
- I'm proud that I pushed through the insecurities and excuses and took the risk
- I need to work on attacking right off of the grip
- I need to work on committing to throws & powering through when I feel resistance on an attack
- I am good enough to compete with these girls