I am scared. I'm so afraid to fail. Afraid to lose. Afraid to let myself and the people who believe in me, down. I am scared. The three week tournament through South America is the biggest of my young judo career...yet it means the most. I NEED to place. The Pan Am Team relies on it. I NEED to place, Worlds relies on it. I NEED to place, my job (potentially) relies on it. My boss, my office, my co-workers...they've sacrificed so much for me to get here...for me to perform and make the Pan Am and World Team. If I don't....I'm not sure how I could return without being a complete disappointment. I've wanted this and have strived for this for 4 years now (I know, it's not as long as most athletes have), but I've put so much more on the line. And not just for me, but for a company; for a boss; for a team; for a brand. They went out on a limb to hire me, to believe in me. What if I can't perform? What if I can't give them the medal they deserve; the Pan Am slot I've so much hoped for? What then? I'm scared. I feel inadequate. I don't want to let people down. Maybe this is the life of an elite athlete? So much more on the line. So many others to (potentially) let down.